Insane in Teal
by UnsubUnicorn
Summary: It must run in the family. In which Mikuo confesses that he is joining the covenant, falls in love with Miki's knee caps, and wants Rin to stop licking his inner thighs on Tuesdays. Gif fic for xXKuukaiHotoriXx C:


_CRACKKKKKK- LOL yeah. Crack writing, beware U v U. ANYWHO! This is a gift for **xX****KuukaiHotoriXx**, and it's a continuation of her smexilixious fic, Crazy in Teal.  
Sooo thank you Kuukai for all that you've done for me ; v ; I hope you like this. I don't know if you support these couples so I tried to keep the romance to a minimum, so I'm sorry in advance if you don't like it, because I understand. It's hard to like something if you don't like the couples, OTL  
btw, this was inspired by some meme I found, so if you recognize anything, just know that I claim none of those little lines. D; Sorry! Whoever made the meme, if you want me to change the lines, I shall.  
Enjoy C:_

* * *

"You need help."

"Hell no girlfriend, _you _need help."

Miku, looking very distressed, stopped her pacing to look at her best friend, Luka, who was currently sitting on her bed indulging herself by eating a cupcake.

Luka raises an eyebrow. "You finally stopped pacing? If you kept at it, you would have bore a circle on my floor."

This only puts Miku back into motion. "Luka! You aren't helping me out here!"

Luka sighs and sucks the frosting off of her finger. She clears her throat and says, "Alright, alright. So let me get this straight. While Len, Piko, Kaito, Rei, and Gakupo were at your hose, you threw paper ninja stars at your big brother's laundry, _took off your clothes_, then proceeded to jump out of your window."

Miku looks at her sheepishly. "Among other things, yeah."

Luka dips her finger back into the frosting. "You're screwed."

"FUUUUUUU—!" Miku groaned, frustrated. She continued to walk around in circles vigorously. "LUKA!" she whined.

Luka stuffs the rest of the cupcake in her mouth, chews, and then swallows. Miku looks at her, bewildered.

"Yes, I feel awful now." Luka offers, patting her stomach. Miku nods and continues to complain about her terrible misfortune.

"Well," she drawls, stroking her chin with her index finger, "there is _one _thing you could do…"

Miku clambers to the side of the bed and drops to her knees. "What is it? Anything!"

Luka looks at her best friend. "It won't solve your case, but it'll definitely remove some of the weight off of your shoulders."

Miku throws up her hands. "Better than nothing!"

Luka considers this, and then nods. "So do you know how you got this illness?"

Rin, Neru, Lily, Miki, and Iroha arrive at Mikuo's household early next morning.

"I hope he isn't too sick." Miki frets, eyebrows turned upward.

Rin flashes a big smile and hops up to the doorbell, giving it a ring. "Don't worry, Mikuo can handle it. He's a big boy!" She smiles again before inwardly cackling wickedly, _and with me as his personal nurse, he'll be all better... MUAHAHAHA!_

Neru flips her phone closed and slips it into her skirt pocket. "Whatever," she huffs, "Let's just get this over with."

The door creaks open slowly, almost as if the inanimate object was uncertain. Then it swings open, revealing Mikuo. Handsome, perfect, _beautiful_ Mikuo.

. . .Wearing a sparkly pink tutu and a fluffy purple boa.

_Click, _went the camera on Neru's camera phone.

"M-Mikuo? What on Earth are you doing in that?" Lily stutters, fighting the urge to squeal.

Rin, on the other hand, took no such precaution. "AACK! SO CUTE, MIKUO!" She shrieked, flocking towards the new diva.

Mikuo dramatically flips imaginary hair over his shoulder. Then, in a seductive voice, he purrs, "Hello, ladies."

The sound of his husky voice sends shivers down the girls' spines. While they were feeling rather lucky, they all had some feeling of doom floating around at the back of their brains…

Iroha took to the kitchen, starting a meal right away. They all fought over who would get to do this, and Iroha Nekomura won eventually. Little did she know, she was luckier than she thought…

Back in the living room, the girls crowded around him, coaxing him into bed.

"Should we change him?"

"I'll change him!"

"He won't get in bed!"

"Mikuo, if you n-need motivation to get into bed, I'll—"

"SHUT UP, LILY!"

Somewhere along the bickering, Miki looks around. "Where'd Mikuo go…?"

Mikuo is on the floor in a position that is best described as planking but with the- ahem, _tush_ stuck up sky-high.

"What the hell, Mikuo?" Neru asks.

From his position, diva Mikuo yells, "Get down! They're coming!"

All the girls look at him strangely. "What is coming?" Rin asked, genuinely confused.

"The rainbow armadillos! They want to destroy you!"

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Neru asks incredulously.

Mikuo now sits up. "Oh hello, young grasshoppers. I welcome you to my humble juice box." He gestures for them to sit.

The girls, while confused, take a seat onto the ground anyways. "Now what is this about?" Lily half-asks, half demands.

Mikuo takes a deep breath, and then says, "Your nostrils are insulting."

"_What_?"

He continues. "They simply won't do. Also, I dislike your eyelashes. Our socks don't match. Therefore, I am joining the covenant. It finally hit me that I threw up in your drawer when your dwarf bit me. Remember? It was that morning you ate Kraft Dinner at the Elvis concert, underneath the street light."

The girls raise their eyebrows. "Mikuo…?" At this moment, Iroha slips into the circle, joining in on the madness.

Mikuo rambles on, eyes now set in something past their heads. "Put whipped cream on the panties I carved my initials on. Drive over it, sit on it, I don't care! Just eat the heater in any way possible. The goalie's anteater in the corner will never step on my lamp, no, no." He crosses his arms over his chest, nodding proudly.

Miki moves over to him to feel his forehead. "Mikuo, are you—?"

"I'm in love with your knee caps!" Mikuo blurts. He snatches Miki's hand and pulls her backward. She lets out a yip as she tumbles onto Mikuo. She flushes beet red before four pairs of hands grab hold of her and yank her off.

Without giving them a chance to recover, Mikuo showers them with his words again. "I get turned on by delivery people, but it's a shame I'm allergic to earlobes! My pictures from Vegas stole our matching Snoopy underwear! The oil-tank in your car needs a sex change! I always will remember the pep talks and the moose poaching! I have a passionate interest in your embarrassing rash! Go milk a cow!"

With that, he springs from his position on the floor and removes all of his clothing, save the tutu. He kisses all of the girls on the cheek, whispers "Please don't lick my inner thighs on Tuesdays" into Rin's ear, and runs outside, screaming about tofu.

The girls spend a few minutes in silence, looking at each other with bewildered expressions. Just then, the doorbell rings. Iroha answers.

"Hi, I'm Luka Megurine. I brought a few paper bags for the Hatsune siblings, they're going to need it for school tomorrow."

* * *

_. . ._

_Yeah that was pretty terrible...  
Have a nice day!_

_xUnsub_


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